The British radical band CHUMBAWAMBA has written a scathing song — "Her Majesty" — to "celebrate" Betty Windsor's Golden Jubilee on the British throne. London was subjected to four days of stage-managed "festivities" beginning June 1, culminating with a pop concert at Buckingham Palace on June 4. The following article was posted on the band's web site to introduce the song.
Chumbawamba was ever so sad when the Queen Mother died ... sad that it had taken so long for her to shuffle off this mortal coil. As comedian Jeremy Hardy put it: "Of course she was going to live a long time, she was pickled in gin and never did a day's work in her life."
We were angry that we were once again subjected to another round of forced feeling. When Princess Diana died we were told, "The whole nation is weeping". Raising your head above the plaudits and pointing out that the woman was a self-obsessed attention seeker, who talked in new age gobbledygook and cost the taxpayer millions, brought a heap of abuse and accusations of heartlessness.
Diana modernised royalty in the sense that she turned it into a cross between Jerry Springer and Geri Halliwell, telling all, saying nothing and all the while demanding love, love, love.
After the "People's Princess" we got the "People's Nanna" and "everybody's favourite Grandma!" schtick and the platitudes about people paying their last respects because "it's the end of an era".
The Queen Mother was an up-market Alf Garnett who never bought us sweets or babysat. And it's not the end of an era. We're still in the age of deference, of standing in the dust while others ride by in carriages, of commoners paying an inordinate amount of respect to ageing racists by dint of birth.
Come the Jubilee, we'll be trapped in a red, white and blue pageant celebrating stupidity, inequality and selfishness. "But they do such a lot for our country and they're such a good tourist attraction", it is said.
The population of the UK does a lot more for them than they do for us, the Queen has private wealth which totals £1.15 billion but the royal family still costs the taxpayer £63 million a year. Most of the Royals live rent free while we pay for the running of their households, cars, travel, parties, alcohol and even their clothes.
It's the best housing benefit scam in the world. Until 1993, the Royals didn't pay tax and there will be no inheritance tax on the Queen's wealth when it is passed to her successor.
Come the Jubilee, we won't be filling a glass to the £66,749 that is the Queen's annual drinks bill or the £30,000 worth of flowers which we buy her every year, and very few of us will ever nibble any of the canapes which cost us £423, 326 at the Queen's garden parties.
And as for being a tourist attraction, people slow down to look at car wrecks but it doesn't make them a good thing. After the monarchy is long gone, we'll still gawk at old buildings. Tourists visiting London get to rattle the Buckingham Palace gates, they don't get to have tea with the Queen or be personally racially insulted by Prince Philip.
Rather than sit at home muttering, "Humbug!" as Tiny Tim and the other poor urchins on June 4 raised a toast to Good Queen Bess and shouted "God bless us one an' all!", Chumbawamba is mounting our own anti-Jubilee celebrations.
"Her Majesty" is a free gift to all those who like to party but won't be jumping up and down in a red, white and blue bowler come the Jubilee.
[Read the lyrics of "Her Majesty" or download the song at <http://www.chumba.org/hermajesty.asp>.]
From Green Left Weekly, June 19, 2002.
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