The Genetic Engineer
By Geoff Francis and Peter Hicks
There's no better career
Than a genetic engineer,
Shaping the next generation to come.
What nature still gets wrong
I can improve on,
The whole world will thank me when I'm finished and done.
How would you like, sir,
For your son to be, sir,
Six foot three tall with blond hair and blue eyes?
A Schwarzznigger physique,
And a perfect athlete,
Just leave it to me, I'll deliver this prize.
An I.Q. like Einstein,
Now wouldn't that be fine?
Trust me, I'll see we create him that way,
And while I'm about it,
Don't let yourself doubt it,
I'll make doubly sure that your son isn't gay.
What? You'd rather have a daughter?
Well I don't think you oughtta,
But if you insist than I'll do what I can.
She'll be pretty and shy,
And obedient and quiet,
And she'll make a good wife for an Aryan man.
I'll be quite honest with you,
There's some things I can't do
Like eliminate suffering and disease from this Earth.
But when I find deformity
Or any non-conformity
I'll have them put down at the moment of birth.
My plans for humanity
Are called insanity
By half-castes and weirdoes and pinkos and queers,
'Cos for them there's no place
In the new master race
That will rule o'er this planet for ten thousand years.
My glorious vision
Must come to fruition
But alas that I can't do it all by myself —
So what I need from you
For me to see this through
Is to help me get out of this white padded cell.