How Can It Be?
How can it be that we have come to this?
Australia must be a land of foolish masochists
Once you might overlook, but someone tell me now,
Did we really put up our hands for more of Johnny Howard?
Civilisation will hold us in contempt,
For we are the nation who invented David Kemp,
With the heart of a dalek, the brains of a gnat,
And all the charisma of a decomposing rat.
My TV set has a bomb strapped underneath,
It's programmed to explode at the sight of Peter Reith,
To live without the Simpsons will cause me grief and pain,
But it's worth it just to know I'll never see that face again.
Peter Costello haunts my every dream,
But worse than any nightmare is his monster GST,
There only is one fair way to put it to the test —
Let the Liberal voters pay, but please exempt the rest.
Maybe the reason lies with the other side,
Mark Latham thinks the workers need more "intellectual pride."
Gareth keeps on scoring goals, but for the other team,
And Cheryl won't be satisfied 'til she's appointed Queen.
But there may be a silver lining, even to this curse —
Surely Amanda Vanstone can't get any worse,
Alexander Downer's fading fast from plum in mouth disease,
And Bronwyn Bishop's disappeared, she's not been seen for weeks.
Oh, once you might overlook, but someone tell me now,
Did we really put up our hands for more of Johnny Howard?
But take heart, dear children, for nothing ever lasts,
Like Fraser, Hawke and Keating, even this will pass.
By Geoff Francis & Peter Hicks