Punch and Judy
"I tell you, John, it's getting harder and harder to get up in the morning. I keep asking myself, why bother? You do your best and you are always getting it in the neck."
"Rather you than me, Paul. Let's face it — being PM is not what its cracked up to be. Every now and then I cast an eye across the House and think, 'you poor bugga'. I mean that, Paul. The Coalition knows what you are going through."
"I know that I give the impression I'm a thick skinned, arrogant bastard, but really I appreciate a kind word now and then. My fellow ALP members have been just wonderful to me. There was a time when I would break into a cold sweat at the thought of sitting in the same room as the rest of them.
"I realise now, looking back, that I was suffering from caucusaphobia. But since they've let up it's been much easier for me. I was told: go at your own pace, do as much as you have to, and the party will stand by you. At these times I know why I joined the Labor Party. Perhaps you can't understand this, John, but in the ALP we are all good mates and take our loyalties seriously."
"That makes my task all that harder to stomach. I've never told you this before, but Paul, hell, there's no other way to put it, I feel sorry for you. For years you have carried the can and shouldered the task of remaking this country. And there's been hardly a day's rest for that party team of yours. And now, after all that work and effort, we're coming up to a crucial election and you're the underdog. Really, I hope that when it's my turn they're going to be gentle with me."
"Gentle, huh! That'll be the day. At least I'm known for giving as much as I got. I tell you John, it's endless. This week it's the blow-out in the current account. Some other time its unemployment or business confidence or interest rates. Fix this, fix that. Nag. Nag. Nag. (Hey. Let me replenish that glass of yours. This one's a bold little drop I picked up in my last trip.)"
"I don't mind if I do. Well, here's to you."
"No, John. Here's to you. Don't forget, John, we're in this together. All for one and one for all. Two sides of the same coin and all that. No show without Punch ..."
"Well, to us then. Here's to Punch and Judy."
"To us."
Dave Riley