Diabolical forces
Do you know what I think ...?
No. I do not.
I think we're slowing dying. You, me and everyone else are on the way out.
How do you figure that?
Look at this weather. It's hot and so very unusual for this time of year.
It's warmish.
Warm! Haven't you looked outside lately? The countryside is ablaze! There are bushfires from one end of the horizon to the other. The air is filled with smoke. The sky is red. We're on fire already and it's hardly December.
Maybe it's this El Niño thing.
Maybe it is.
Or global warming.
Yeah. Perhaps. But I tend to think other forces are at work.
Other than the elements?
Diabolical forces. I reckon this heat and these fires are the devil's handiwork.
Oh, come off it!
No. I do. The devil has taken over and we're all falling towards Hades. It's evil, I tell you. The earth is turning into an inferno. This is just the beginning. Soon it'll be raining brimstone and we'll be walking to the shops on hot coals. Slip, slap, slop as much as you like, but it won't be enough.
They do say the earth is getting warmer.
You better believe it. It's going to be hell on Earth. And we're doomed. All of us — doomed. Oh, how I wish I could just yell out: "Repent! For damnation is at hand!" But I can't.
Why not?
It won't do any good, that's why. We're all lost. The lot of us are facing perdition. There's nothing for it but to kiss our collective arse goodbye.
It can't be all that bad ...
It can't! Need I remind you what is at stake here? The thermostat is going up and up and all we're told to do is throw more wood on the fire. Don't you think that's strange? Here we are, with our backsides already burning, and we're told to stoke the fire. I'd call that downright suspicious. And you know who I think is behind it all?
Who?
The devil, that's who! Old Beelzebub himself is running the show, but we can't see it. In fact, I'd put it this way: John Howard has sold his soul to the devil and we're all paying the price. The place will be overrun by little demons before long as they come up from hell for a bit of R & R. Little red tourists will be everywhere, dripping sparks and leaving scorch marks on the floor coverings. Because that's the way the little devils are. They thrive on the heat. I tell you, it'll be an invasion. Devils everywhere. And all because we couldn't contain our own gas emissions.
That bad, eh?
Bad! It'll be so bad we'll be dead.
By Dave Riley