Honourable intentions
Is Kim Beazley a happy man? Sure he is! And you know why? He lost the election, that's why.
— Lost! But what's so good about that?
That was the game plan. You don't seriously think Labor wanted to win the election opposed to the GST and committed to achieving 5% unemployment, do you?
— But that's what they promised.
Der! Don't tell me you believe everything you're told?
— I thought ...
You thought wrong then. Labor received the highest primary vote, stole seats from the Coalition and talked it up for Joe Ordinary out there. But Howard is the one who'll be flogging off Telstra, introducing the GST, moving ahead against native title, opening up uranium mines and the rest, while all Labor has to do is sit on its hands and whinge occasionally.
— Well, I'll be ...
Had! Yesireee, you've been had.
— And I handed out for them too.
Just goes to prove it, doesn't it: never trust a politician.
— But next time, next time Labor might win.
Yes. It's a terrible thought, isn't it. All the party has to do is jump up and down occasionally and look earnestly upset. Then march into government because they're the only alternative to the Coalition. That's how the seesaw works. Lib-Lab. Lib-Lab. TweedleDee and TweedleDum.
— At least One Nation was cut back a notch or two and Cheryl Kernot got elected.
I'm sorry to disillusion you, but I don't call 1 million votes a cut back. That's a lot of would-be racists. And Kernot —
— Whatever you say about the ALP, at least she's in there now, trying to keep them to the straight and narrow.
Do you seriously believe that! Come on now. Don't tell me you think Kernot is some sort of Joan of Arc?
— Well, she's sure to have more backbone than the rest of them.
Each to their own, I suppose. But Kernot's "honourable intentions" are like anyone else's in parliament — they're there to be traded. Ask Kim Beazley.
— Or John Howard.
As they say: the only person to enter parliament with honourable intentions was Guy Fawkes, and you know what he did?
— Sorry.
He burnt it down!
By Dave Riley