Terra Australis Proprietary Limited
The Reserve Bank in conjunction with the federal Treasury is making arrangements for turning the whole country into a limited liability company. Every Australian citizen will be offered shares in the float. The new enterprise will take over the country as a going concern, together with all available assets, pre-existing good will, gold reserves and debenture stocks.
This novel initiative is a logical consequence of the trend toward privatisation. We're fast-tracking it, that's all. The formation of Terra Australis Proprietary Limited and its listing on the nation's stock exchanges is intended to shore up the local share market at a time when investors could do with an injection of confidence.
The crash which preceded the present zigging and zagging of the All Ordinaries does no-one any good. The everyday, run-of-the-mill Aussie battler-type person could do without such uncertainty.
No-one wants to wake each morning to news of another fall on Wall Street, or to spend their day worrying about movements in the Hang Seng. They've got cows to milk, kids to get off to school or a train to catch — all they want is for their day to be like any other.
Now, these plain and simple folk can get their wish. By investing in Terra Australis, they'll be in on the float of the century. Here is your opportunity to shore up free enterprise rather than being a lifelong victim of it. The market needs a shot in the arm and you lot, in your millions, are just the doctor to administer it.
A fortunate bonus of the float is that you need no longer worry about your superannuation. By helping us get Terra Australis up and running, prudential companies will have somewhere a little more secure than the volatile market of late to invest the money you pay out each week in superannuation. So today as well as tomorrow's declining years are sure to benefit from such a gilt-edged stock.
We cannot promise that future market crashes — god forbid! — won't impact on the company. The vagaries of the capitalist carnival are sure to ebb and flow in the time ahead. Such is life.
But we promise that here is an investment you can bank on. Our prospectus is diverse. Our portfolio also includes the company's high-yielding subsidiaries: Western and South Australia, Victoria, Tasmania, Queensland and New South Wales. That's why we say that investing in Terra Australis Proprietary Limited is as safe as houses — parliament houses, that is.
By Dave Riley