Life of Riley: You can bet on it

February 21, 2001
Issue 

Life of Riley

You can bet on it

Have you ever wondered why, if we're doing so well, the country has a gambling problem? In terms of ockerism, perhaps you could dismiss it with references to two-up or the gee-gees. What could be more Australian than having a flutter? Why stop at a $2 scratchie when Kerry Packer can outlay a million a night — win or lose — and still be Australia's richest man when he wakes up in the morning?

Of course, Kerry has a large expense account. He won't be sleeping with a severed polo pony's head on the pillow next to him. Kerry can pay his debts — that's what Channel 9 is for. Packer also studied at the best schools: the local stock exchange and corporate boardroom. He's a professional. The bull market or the baccarat tables? It's all the same to him.

But you, you silly beggar, you think you can join him in the celebrity box simply by buying a lotto ticket with your spare change. I'm sorry to say this but Kerry is way ahead of you. He can lose, but he will always be ahead.

When you look at your chances of a significant win, you are more likely to be run over by a bus. You need to face facts: gambling is a mug's game.

So why do we do it? What's the attraction?

I'll leave that to the experts. However, the phenomenon that most interests me is that of the mature age gambler, like my own dear grey-haired, 77-year-old Aunt Maude.

Why Maude, are you are addicted to playing the pokies? Aren't you getting any "of the other stuff"? I'm seriously worried. After a life spent under the shelter of the welfare state, all you can think about is, should you play two lines or five? I can think of cheaper things to do before you go under. Is this quality of life? Is this what our tribal elders do to win our respect? Jesus, Maude, what went wrong?

The irony is, if she ever won anything big, she wouldn't be around long enough to spend it. I demand an explanation. Why is it, if we supposedly live in the best of all possible worlds, that all I can look forward to in my twilight years is a reserved bar stool at the $2 machines, free coffee and cake, and an occasional tipple?

But you see, if it's kosher for Kerry to gamble on and off the track, in and out of the casino, as a lifestyle, then I guess it must be the norm. Life in this society is still ruled by chance. You can bet on it.

BY DAVE RILEY
<dhell@ozemail.com.au>

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