All in piecesAll in pieces
By Brandon Astor Jones and Sarah Connor
"First there [is] the children's house of make believe,
Some shattered dishes underneath a pine,
THe playthings in the playhouse of the children,
Weep for what little things could [have made] them glad." — Robert Frost 1874-1963
Farmington, New Mexico's, Katie Rose Sawyer, 11, and Cody Finch,10, have changed their minds about being a couple. The two fifth graders pretended to get married. Their make-believe wedding was performed "on a school playground", according to the Marietta Daily Journal's May 6 issue.
Somehow Cody soon got angry enough to give Katie Rose a real punch, and needless to say she did not like it. They got a divorce. However, amid all of the make-believe, the estranged couple ended up in a very real courtroom.
As a consequence of the judge's ruling, their parents will be fined an equally real $500, if either child so much as makes contact with the other. What started out as a childish case of make-believe has become so real that the judge has issued a retraining order to keep the two children apart.
To worsen matters, Cody has two teenage brothers who, it is alleged, have made threatening phone calls to Katie Rose and participated in the vandalisation of her home.
I am in the opinion that, in the area of socialisation, we demand too much of children and, conversely, in the way of intelligence too little.
When Katie Rose's father said, "I really don't want this to go any further", I began to think things might work out for the best — until I read that both children and their parents had spent the weekend in New York City, taping their stories on the Montel Williams television talk show.
There is such a thing as too much make-believe, and now I fear that an even larger make-believe looms on the horizon for every member of both families. I do not think that bodes well for the children.
THE LINE dividing reality and make believe has obviously shifted so far that the "children's house" has come tumbling down. Responsibility for drawing the line should rest with those who can tell the difference — that is, traditionally, parents and teachers.
Because Katie Rose's family filed a complaint against Cody's family, the case of their children's "marriage" and subsequent "divorce" wound up in court.
Cody admitted that he punched Katie Rose, but since the case was settled by a restraining order there is no way of telling whether Katie Rose's house was in fact vandalised as her parents claimed.
What is clear is that neither of the children's families felt capable of handling the situation. They needed help.
Moreover, the case raises disturbing questions about emotional vulnerability. How was it that Cody did not know that it was wrong to hit girls (or anyone, for that matter)? Why did Katie Rose want to get married? The implication is that the children were trying to act like adults and the response of the parents was to act like children.
Every child creates a make-believe playhouse to live in and explore. THe problem here is that the playhouse is society itself because the courts and media have assumed the role of parental authority and are treating the citizens of the largest democracy in the world as though they too are children.
The future for Katie Rose and Cody is already taking shape as their stories become public property. I suspect that the result will be that they will grow unable to tell the difference between make-believe and reality because such a difference no longer exists. Their playthings are all in pieces.
[Sarah Connor is a freelance writer who lives in England. Brandon Astor Jones is a prisoner in the United States. He welcomes letters commenting on his columns. He can be written to at: Brandon Astor Jones, Georgia State Prison, HCO1, Reidsville, GA 30453, USA. For the first time in 17 years, Brandon has the real hope of his sentence of death being mitigated. If you can help by contributing to his defence fund or in other ways, please contact Australians Against Executions, PO Box 640, Milson's Point NSW 2061. Fax (02) 9427 9489. Cheques can be made payable to "Brandon Astor Jones Defence Fund".]