Just say no
"Joining the Australian Labor Party gives you a real say ... A real say in encouraging Victorians to work together and in changing the workplace for the better by improving our skills, safety, profits and long term job security." — Advertising leaflet of Victorian ALP.
Thanks, John
"Dawkins warns world against optimism." — Headline in Financial Review, September 22.
Hard times
"The prince and princess of Wales do not have a bottomless pit from which to draw money, and she is tightening her belt like anybody else." — Palace spokesperson explaining that Diana has given up her Mercedes and will have to get along with a car leased by her household.
Stiff for workers
"I can understand the pain of the community, but this is by far the stiffest sentence that I'm aware of for a worker safety issue." — US Labor Department spokesperson Douglas Fuller on community outrage over a judgment in which chicken processing plant owner Emmett Roe was sentenced to 20 years in prison over a fire in which 25 workers died because the doors to the plant had been locked illegally and there was no sprinkler system. Community anger focused on the fact that the owner's son, operations manager Brad Roe, walked free as a result of a plea bargain.
Philosophy
A year's service as an Australian army officer in Malaysia "is the most important thing that happened to me in terms of maturity and the development of character. I learned about my fellow man. Latrine duty quickly teaches you that, despite all the social barriers, there's not much difference between us." — Jeff Kennett, probable next premier of Victoria, apparently trying to explain why he never grew up.
Who, me?
"It would be bad for government in Victoria if Labor were left with a rump." — Bob Hawke, the man most responsible for the present state of the Labor Party and an impending string of electoral disasters, predicting the party's defeat in Victoria.
The military mind
"If this new method saves, say, two pairs of laces per person per year, that adds up to a saving of $100,000 each year." l Pat Green, announcing that the Australian army is making the big jump to criss-cross lacing of boots from the traditional horizontal backwards and forwards method.