By Craig Cormick
Based on highly reliably international contacts, leaked documents and horoscopes from several TV magazines, Nostradamus' Media Watch presents a highly accurate forecast of political events across the globe.
Norfolk Island Secedes
Norfolk Islanders, finally call the bluff of the Australian government and put a case to the United Nations for full independence.
The UN Security Council, unable to come up with anything resembling a solution in the Balkans, seizes on the issue of Norfolk Island independence with a gusto not seen since the Gulf War.
The United Nations condemns Australia's oppression of the rights of a sovereign independent state and passes four resolutions to that effect — one of which is recalled because "Austria" is mistakenly entered on the record.
While US President Bill Clinton is answering sex allegations in Congress concerning Oprah Winfrey, former President George Bush calls for a US-led UN peacekeeping force to invade Norfolk Island and forcibly evict Australian bureaucrats.
The world media are suddenly filled with stories of atrocities by Australian officials on Norfolk Island, including massacres of peasants in the highlands, babies being taken off incubators in the hospital and excessive rowdiness by Australian tourists in the guest houses after 8 p.m.
Colleen McCulloch, representing the islanders, writes an open letter to the major Australian newspapers, outlining her people's plight and their struggle for self-determination. Because not one single editor is able to fathom the meaning of the 425-page message, it is not published.
Colleen McCulloch is adopted by Amnesty International and Pen, with UNESCO funding, as a prisoner of conscience suffering under state censorship.
Gareth Evans flies to Norfolk Island to sort out the affair, but arrives on a Sunday, when the island is closed, and is forced to return to Australia.
A US invasion force arrives in the region, but is unable to find Norfolk Island. It instead goes to Perth for extended R&R.
Colleen McCulloch invites the emir of Kuwait to visit the island on a good will mission, but he views the mini-series of The Thorn Birds as an in-flight movie and refuses to land.
Paul Keating grants Norfolk Island independence as Colleen McCulloch is elected first president for life. In a deal with John Hewson, Keating appoints Bronwyn Bishop ambassador to the Democratic Republic of Norfolk Island.
Vietnam: Americans return
With the lifting of the US trade embargo on Vietnam, US forces are again landing all over the nation from helicopters and landing craft. They carry McDonald's franchises, Barbie dolls and imitation stetsons.
Tens of thousands of US salespeople are reported landing clandestinely. However, the US government says there are only "a handful" of US personnel being sent to Vietnam and, despite CNN shots of ranks of middle-aged men in white short-sleeve shirts and snap-on ties descending on the villages, it claims they are not salespersons, merely sales advisers.