By Craig Cormick
Based on highly reliable international contacts, leaked documents and horoscopes from several TV magazines, Nostradamus' Media Watch resents a highly accurate forecast of political events across the globe.
Bob Hawke's diary
More scandals between Bob Hawke and Paul Keating arise as segments of Bob Hawke's autobiography fall into the hands of the media. The latest excerpts allege that Keating was a closet royalist and had personally nominated Prince Charles to become the next governor-general of Australia.
They also allege that several women staffers had resigned from his office at one time, citing sexual-harassment-related stress, that Keating had rorted travel finances, and that he was operating as both Queensland and NSW ministers for police.
The allegations, made by a commercial current affairs program, with an international day-time-TV handwriting expert to authenticate the texts, also state that Keating had smuggled several Paddington Bear dolls into Australia inside antique clocks.
Margaret Thatcher's secret diaries
Not long after the Hawke revelations, Margaret Thatcher's secret memoirs are released. The material, first aired on a day-time US cable celebrity gossip program, shows her name excluded from diary excerpts entered in the margins for invitation lists to Buckingham Palace.
They reveal that she had been Prince Charles' secret lover. Her life-long ambition had been to be artificially inseminated with Ronald Reagan's sperms which would be the beginning of a new race of ultra-right, ultra-correct thinking, no-nonsense, Anglo-Americans that would dominate the world.
The plan had been to have SAS special operatives steal the then US president's sperm, while he slept during a speech to the House of Lords on one of his visits to Britain.
However the plan went disastrously wrong when the special operatives motorbike crashed with a sperm bank van near London Bridge hopelessly losing the sample amongst the others. Hundreds of British women, recipients of sperm donations, are taken to trauma units around the London area.
The GATT talks are resurrected after bogging down over the ownership of sperm-related tabloid television stories.