By Craig Cormick
Based on highly reliable international contacts, leaked documents and horoscopes from several TV magazines, Nostradamus' Media Watch presents a highly accurate forecast of political events across the globe.
New government hits the ground running
The Liberal-National Coalition government hits the ground running — but appears to run too far. When Prime Minister John Howard calls the first meeting of government MPs, several get lost in the new Parliament House.
Search parties are sent out. CNN provides a live commentary on the search for the missing MPs, and several tabloid newspapers run stories speculating on the existence in Canberra of a "Parliamentary Triangle" that sucks people into another dimension.
Producers of the TV show The X-Files contact the PM's office saying they are interested in doing a program on the phenomenon. They are told that the prime minister will get back to them when he is found.
After two weeks, with several news crews on their trail, two of the missing MPs are found at a Super League function. They say everyone there was sitting around morosely, grumbling about having nothing to do until the year 2000, and they presumed it was a Labor Party meeting and stayed to hear what would be said.
Most of the missing MPs are located by May, in time for the first parliamentary recess, at which time Harry M. Miller signs up several to work on autobiographies and docudramas about their time spent lost in the wilderness.
Australian tourist a bomber suspect
An Australian tourist is arrested in Tel Aviv as a suspected suicide bomber. Israeli security agencies say the man, a paid-up member of the Queensland Liberal Party, set off multiple bomb-detector alarms and sent three sniffer dogs into paroxysms when he attempted to walk through airport security.
After searching through his luggage, however, the only bombs they discover are copies of Alexander Downer's "The Things that Matter" speech and John Hewson's "Fightback".