By Craig Cormick
Based on highly reliably international contacts, leaked documents and horoscopes from several TV magazines, Nostradamus' Media Watch presents a highly accurate forecast of political events across the globe.
As most nations of the world struggle to find the on-ramp to the global information superhighway, there will be widespread coups, counter-coups and reappointments of leaders.
Following repeated leadership challenges, John Hewson is finally ousted as leader of the Liberal Party, being replaced by Ros Kelly, who crosses the floor for a ministerial-sized office, and boosts the party's falling popularity to a high of 39%.
Hewson resigns from the Liberal Party and accepts an offer from the UK Conservative Party to replace John Major. The party's popularity immediately plummets to a low of 16%.
Shortly afterwards, Margaret Thatcher becomes chair of the UN Security Council and begins recruiting a massively increased UN fighting force which she sends as an invasion flotilla to Rwanda. The flotilla is unfortunately hampered by an inability to reach the tiny land-locked nation by landing craft, but not to be thwarted, Thatcher sends them to invade the Seychelles instead.
Following another White House sex scandal, in which Hillary Clinton reveals she had a long-standing love affair with Ross Perot ("Just in case" as her defence, US President Bill Clinton appoints former president George Bush as senior trade envoy.
He defends the appointment to his party on the grounds that George Bush has been the only senior US official ever with the guts to give the Japanese both a piece of his mind and nearly the entire contents of his stomach.
In Japan, where the nation is unable to elect a leader untainted by corruption charges, or even find an untainted politician, the newly emergent Yakuza Party recruits former Queensland premier Joh Bjelke-Petersen. Sir Joh San, as he is affectionately known in the Diet, brings a new culture to Japanese politics; instead of denying corruption allegations, he holds press conferences at which none of the reporters can follow what he says, regardless of what language he speaks.
This proves so popular that all Japanese politicians adopt the style. The Japanese stock market recovers dramatically in time to raise the capital to purchase Queensland from that state's new premier in exile, Christopher Skase.
In a surprise move, Mother Theresa takes over leadership of the European Community. She continues her work of good will by continuing the EC's work of handing out vast subsidies to European farmers.
And in Indonesia, in a bid to regain international respectability and to find a successor to President Suharto acceptable to all the growing faction and feuding family, the government selects Microsoft's Bill Gates as president.
He sets up computer software factories in Ache, Sabah and East Timor, where the employees are offered imitation brand name T-shirts and joggers and imitation housing and subsidised computer software. Inexplicably, rebel resistance grows in these areas, which President Gates blames on foreign subversion — mainly from Nintendo and Apple.
Finally, as support for the royal family plummets in the UK, the queen takes up an offer to become queen of California. The whole royal family move into a large replica of Windsor Castle recreated at Disneyland, except for Prince Charles, who accepts an offer to head the Australian Liberal Party after a leadership battle between Bronwyn Bishop and Ros Kelly leaves both badly injured on the floor of the House of Representatives. Both join the Democrats and immediately begin lobbying for the leadership.