By Kevin Healy
A week in which inflation fell below zero — as did the incomes of the record unemployed — proving that the economy is working. Unfortunately, with inflation and demand for petrol both down, the poor oil companies were legally required by the law of supply and demand to raise the price of petrol by six cents overnight, with a promise of another whack in a few days.
Also suffering are the poor banks, especially with all these outrageous demands that they lower their interest rates. "That's not in our interest", they explained. "However, we'll make one concession: we'll lower the rate we pay on savings accounts."
And after all, yesterday's Aussie Capitalist Review reported that a couple of banks are having real trouble with what we in the game call "non-performing loans" — that is, all those poor beleaguered business people battling against the avarice of selfish workers. As one bank spokesperson said, "There are several underlying figures which must be taken into the equation, and you must remember that the factor which must control our final decision is ... greed."
Speaking of avaricious workers, there were two major breakthroughs on wages this week. Opposition supremo John Hew-them said he'd force youth to take lower wages because at present youth priced themselves out of the labour market, or would price themselves out of the labour market if there were a labour market. With John as our great and beloved prime minister, all these youth would have jobs until they turned 18, when they wouldn't be youth any more and so wouldn't need jobs.
Secondly, the metal unions offered the bosses this real threat — if they agreed to Accord Mark Whatever, the unions would get all militant and sign a no-strike clause. Boy, they never stop putting the screws on the bosses, do they!
Speaking of great and beloved prime ministers, our current version, Nuclear Hawke himself, showed his deep compassion — which we knew about anyway because we watch him cry all the time — by saying, "I feel a great deal of sadness for the unemployed". Won't that send a warm wave through the queue down at the dole office!