By Kevin Healy
The tax department this week make a ruling — it's called draft ruling 72 — dealing with profits from outside the normal course of a company's business. Now, quite fairly, business has always declared these profits as capital gains, and thereby had them assessed as tax-free altogether, or indexed in line with inflation, and paid stuff-all tax on them, which is very sensible and helps us all.
Well, draft ruling 72 says that these profits will now be assessed as income. The Aussie Capitalist Review quite properly headlined: "Business dismayed by draft tax ruling". Bob Brilliant, of the Corporate Tax Association, pointed out, "The ruling ignores past tax practice and precedent and makes it very difficult for large corporations to claim any profits as non-taxable". My god, how invidious!
Meanwhile, Victorian Premier Joannie Learner howled her way through cabinet. "I don't want to be unemployed; I enjoy telling unemployed Victorians everything will be okay", she mumbled as her loyal and loving colleagues comforted her. "There, there", they said. "Just think of what talent you've got, and then think of the salary you get." But this only brought on an even louder burst of wailing.
In this mood, Joannie was particularly sensitive to the few thousand Pissan workers who are about to become dole bludgers. These workers also received the sympathy of the federal minister for restructuring unemployment, Little Johnny Buttons 'n' Bows, who said he was sorry for them and proud that "My wonderful plan is working".
The complaint by the Pissan workers that they weren't given any notice other than their final notice was most misplaced and ungracious. After all, the page 3 headline in Monday's Spencer Street Ex-Foul Facts Now Black Not White said clearly, "Pissan says car plants not facing imminent closure", and it was quite true: they didn't announce the closure until early afternoon.
A commentator on the Philippines election said political parties up there don't have any political ideology; they just exist to put bums on seats in parliament. So there's another little cultural link they have with Australia.
But really, when it comes to the crunch, there is an ideological gap between the Liblab and the Lablib parties, or whatever they call them. After NSW Premier Nick Grinner offered our former great and beloved prime minister Nuclear Hawke a senior public service job, deputy premier Wal Murky exposed the gaping ideological gap when he said he could never offer a job to a man who had — what a heinous crime — "given an atheist the position of governor general".
"He appointed an atheist as the representative of the queen", Wal explained, "and the queen is also head of the church".
Head of the church, yes, but she'd be wasting her time if she tried to become a minister.