Was it on the day when my father was executed in front of our house?
Was it when they beat my mum because she went to a male doctor? Or was it when the Mullah's son said that he must have me for himself?
When did I become a refugee?
Was it when the boy spotted the helicopter, and all of us on the boat — Shouted with unbearable joy — "Hello Australia, we love you!"
Was it when they transported us all to Woomera? Or was it when I was released, with the invoice for $89,600 - the cost of my detention?
When did I become a refugee?
Was it when I boarded the boat in Lamping, with 350 others? Was it when I was coughing in the sea, with 26 dead children floating around me? Or was it when I saw the boat with powerful lights turn around, and go away?
When did I become a refugee?
Was it when the court said I was "successful"?
Was it when I was waiting seven months for "release"?
Or was it when the immigration minister appealed against the court's judgement?
When did I become a refugee?
Was it when they took me onto a plane, and went to multiple destinations in Africa? Was it when I saw the yellow sign, which reads "Power Fence"? Or was it when I heard the electric sliding door screech, and slam shut, behind me?
When did I become a refugee?
Was it when my mother was killed in the bomb blast, and my father got locked up inside Baxter? Was it when the Prime Minister unknowingly posed for a photograph with me? Or was it when my "Full Refugee Status" looked good for the forthcoming election?
When did I become a refugee?
Was it when I heard the minister say "there are no refugees inside Baxter"? Was it when they found the Australian resident locked up inside? Or was it when they took me away to Glenside Psychiatric Hospital?
When did I become a refugee?
Was it when I saw my little girl bang her head against the wall? Was it when they read the overseas newspaper offer her a life, sans barbed wire fence? Or was it when they let us out at night, and my daughter rode a pink bicycle?
When did we, all, lose our humanity?
Ranjan Abayasekara
[The author has been visiting Baxter since 2002 and has written many articles about suffering life of detainees. He is an engineer at BMP steel in Whyalla and a member of Rural Australian for Refugees. This poem reflects the insight he has gained through visiting asylum seekers in detention.]
From Green Left Weekly, July 13, 2005.
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