By Craig Cormick
Based on highly reliably international contacts, leaked documents and horoscopes from several TV magazines, Nostradamus' Media Watch presents a highly accurate forecast of political events across the globe.
Blow for Republicans and Monarchists
A terrible blow for both the Republicans and Monarchists comes with the publishing of a major poll on the nation's preferred choice for President.
The poll found that while the majority of people wish to have a republic, the top three choices for President are: 1. The Queen 2. Alan Border and 3. Ray Martin.
Both Republicans and Monarchists accuse the other of sabotaging the polls, and Mr Magnus Brandex, the newly-elected leader of the South Australian-based Backbencher Liberal Party Think Tank, declares that single mothers should be disallowed from voting.
Celebrity crimes grow
Following the unprecedented coverage of O.J. Simpson's trial in the US, a small army of ex-celebrities begin committing crimes around the globe to gain media coverage.
Roger Moore is arrested attempting to sneak into the Clinton's bedroom, and even Ronald Reagan is arrested for exposing himself in Congress.
In Australia Don Lane and Marcia Hines kidnap all the children from the Melbourne Casino creche and demand front-page coverage before they release them.
This is followed almost immediately by Johnny Young and those members of the Young Talent Time team who never appeared in Neighbours, taking over the SBS studios in Sydney and transmitting pirate broadcasts of their own variety specials.
The United Nations is on the verge of passing a resolution banning coverage of ex-celebrity crimes when the Brady Bunch storm the General Assembly and hold the members at gun point- until they get CNN coverage around the globe.
Tasmania becomes a Stalinist state
The conservative Tasmanian government is overthrown by an electorate increasingly dissatisfied with their homophobic isolation, and a Stalinist government is voted in in their place.
The government quickly secedes from the mainland, and a cult of personality for the new President begins.
Little is known about the new President-for-life, who goes by the pseudonym of Mr Steel Balls, but bears an uncanny resemblance to Bruce Goodluck.
Using the Tasmanian Hydroelectric Commission as a model, the State centralises all production, builds large ugly concrete buildings, and erects huon pine statues of the President across the nation.
However the government's reign is short lived as it is overthrown by a gang of armed undergraduate mercenaries. The mercenaries, it later emerges, have been recruited via the Internet by thousands of academics who were on the verge of publishing weighty treatises on the death of Stalinist states.