Green Left Weekly Users' Guide
Dave Riley
I want to explain all about Green Left Weekly so that you can get into its very vitals. Vitals are what makes a newspaper project like this healthy and regular.
Anyone can bring out a newspaper — and anyone has, come to think of it — perhaps not for very long and perhaps not for all the right reasons, but the news has a canny way of running into print.
If asked: "What's black and white and re(a)d all over — with splashes of green?" — what do we say? You guessed it: "Green Left Weekly".
With this paper, we don't really need Windows or MS DOS. The program we've got has been sent along the years and is still as relevant today as it was a hundred years ago.
Does "i" come before "e" after "c"? Can you use "because" at the beginning of a sentence? How do you justify something — a paragraph, a page, a revolution?
No worries, it's all part of our socialist program.
While anyone can bring out a newspaper, not everyone can get it around. GLW is unique. Not only do you get the chance to read it and write for it, but the package also encourages you to go out and flog it. That's right — you too can be a seller.
But before you rush off to that special sales spot on the planet, it is important to review the shoulds and should nots of newspaper distribution. Most importantly, dress comfortably. While ties and stockings are optional, one should at least try to maintain a standard that meshes with current retailing practices. I'm a shorts and sandals man myself.
If you are particularly shy or are frightened that mum may choose that very day to go shopping in town or that Uncle Ron is sure to pass by en route to his lodge meeting, you can pop on the shades for that air of mystery and a touch of the incognito.
Sales spots are those little depressions that years of paper retail activity have worn into the pavement. All cities have these special places — we call them sacred sites — and we hope to register them on satellite next year so we know exactly where they are at any one time. As yet they are not referenced in any street directory, but we are working on that.
Before I begin to sell, I always like to make a gesture to the past and try to reaffirm my radical roots by calling on the sales spot to enrich the activity I am about to begin: "I call upon the ghosts of sellers past to make my labour fruitful and my voice to carry ... Arise ye workers from your slumbers."
Then, be sure to adopt a stance. This is your political space for the time being and should be defended at all costs. Personally, I go for the rider stance, with two feet at shoulder width apart firmly located on the ground. There's plenty of pivot available, and I'm less likely to be knocked over in the rush for papers.
Some people choose the egret — an uneven, slouchy, one-legged stance — or a variation of the Watusi by shifting their weight from left to right in time with the rhythm of the streets. Whatever you feel comfortable with, it's OK.
I am often asked my opinion on the very essence of good newspaper selling. My advice is this: Stand out like a sore thumb. Let your presence be noted.
To that end I spritz with: "Get a paper! Get a paper! Get a campaign paper. Get a paper that takes sides — your side — get a copy of Green Left Weekly."
Who needs a course in assertiveness training when you can go out anytime and flog Green Left?