Freedom and responsibility

By Jewels Starr Do women who dress sexily "ask for it"? Is a woman who is friendly and outgoing, maybe even a little flirtatious, inviting harassment? Is she responsible for it if she is raped? The issue of who is responsible for sexual assault is one which needs to be examined closely. We must remember that rape is neither an act of violence nor an act of sexual passion — it is a crime of sexual violence. The emotions on the part of the attacker are hate and anger. Raping is an attempt to gain a greater feeling of self-worth by dominating and humiliating another person. The survivor of the attack experiences feelings of shame, primarily as a result of unsympathetic and sexist societal attitudes to raped women. She may also experience greater fear of walking at night alone, of being at home alone or in crowds of people. All women know these fears, and many limit their life possibilities as a result. We are all responsible for our thoughts, feelings and actions. If a man feels horny, he is responsible. He is also responsible for the way he chooses to act upon those feelings. If a woman dresses to attract attention, from either sex, then she is responsible. However for a man to assume that because a woman is sexually attractive she wants sex, and wants it with him, is outdated and erroneous. It is a myth that the exposure of one's body inevitably leads to being raped. That is a flaw in our culture. In contrast, many tribal cultures, and so-called hippy communities accept nudity and semi-nakedness as a natural state of being. Should a woman go out of her way to change the way she dresses, or any other aspect of her life, because of the fear of rape? Helen Garner in The First Stone seems to say yes! She places the responsibility for sexual abuse and harassment back onto the victim rather than onto the attacker. This is not the way to achieve true equality, freedom of self-expression and association, or the freedom to share sexual energy with whoever we choose provided that person is a willing partner. It is time to stop blaming either men or women for sexual violence. This does not mean ignoring an individual's responsibility for their actions. Rather, it means examining society a little more closely and identifying the real causes of violence, sexual and otherwise, and finding new ways of addressing the problems and healing the wounds that exist.