TweedleKim and TweedleJohnny

September 23, 1998
Issue 

TweedleKim and TweedleJohnny

By Geoff Francis & Peter Hicks

You can choose anybody you want — as long as it's Johnny or Kim.
You can have any prime minister you want — as long as it's him or him.
Politics Australian style is a very exciting game —
You can always kick out the government — but the other lot's much the same.

Beazley or Howard, Howard or Beazley, there's one thing puzzling me —
How do you tell which is Tweedledum and which one's Tweedledee?
Beazley or Howard, Howard or Beazley, there's one thing puzzling me —
How do you tell which is Tweedledum and which one's Tweedledee?

"It's really important now", says Kim, "to vote for the A.L.P.
"It's a terrible thing what the Libs have done to our society.
"Schools, migrants and hospitals are more than reason enough
"I'll rant and rave and I'll rave and rant — but I won't restore their cuts."

Sleazey or Coward, Coward or Sleazey ...

"The A.L.P. has a proud record of fighting privatisation,
"Except of course when it's necessary in the interests of the nation,
"QANTAS and the Commonwealth Bank were part of our grand design,
"But for Howard to flog off Telstra now, well that would be a crime."

Greasey or Coward, Coward or Greasey ...

"We're better than the Libs on uranium, I can demonstrate that's true.
"They've only got one policy, but the A.L.P.'s got two.
"We'll let folks think that I'm going to knock Jabiluka on the head,
"With a nudge-wink-nudge to E.R.A.
we'll let you go ahead."

Beazley or Howard, Howard or Beazley, there's one thing puzzling me —
How do you tell which is Tweedledum and which one's Tweedledee?
Beazley or Howard, Howard or Beazley, there's one thing puzzling me —
How do you tell which is Tweedledum and which one's Tweedledee?

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