The Abbott government has coped a lot of flak for breaking promises, but this budget bucks the trend. Abbott always promised a “no surprises” approach to government, and with this self-proclaimed “dull” budget, his government has finally delivered.
Few may have predicted some of the weirder moments of Abbott's reign, like knighting Prince Philip, threatening to shirtfront Vladimir Putin or making Bronwyn Bishop speaker of the House, but who could honestly say they were surprised by more proposals to hurt the poor and help the rich.
The dullness is disappointing, because the sheer unpredictability of Abbott's government has been its one redeeming feature. If they must keep kicking the shit out of us, by say stripping families of badly needed parent leave payments while maintaining tax breaks for the super-rich, they should at least try to mix it up.
Like, I don't know, maybe announce a few million to build a Big Onion tourist attraction or propose gold statues of Sir Prince Philip in every schoolyard to be built by unemployed immigrant single mothers in return for not sending them to Nauru.
Instead, their combination of cruelty and stupidity is boringly routine. Like we have $80 billion in health and education cuts, yet can somehow find $545 million for a program to, among other things, “teach immigrants Australian values”.
How is this a wise use of taxpayers' money? It can't cost that much to introduce them to Australian traditions like the “goon of fortune” drinking game, as all you need is a $12 cask of Stanley red and a Hills Hoist washing line.
And do we really need to spend money to teach them values like racially abusing strangers on public transport? I am sure these “new Australians” will pick that up quickly enough from experience, and if they really need a helping hand, then a return train ticket from Sydney Central to Cronulla should do the trick.
Then there is Christopher Pyne. In March, Pyne, as education minister, refused to tell Sky News political editor David Speers how he had “fixed” research funding tied to his university fee deregulation plans that were blocked in the Senate, insisting “I want it to be a surprise for you”.
The “surprise” has turned out to be $263 million in budget cuts to the Sustainable Research Excellence program along with the exact same widely hated fee deregulation plan he couldn't get through the Senate last year. Which surely raises questions about whether Pyne actually understands the meaning of the word “surprise” and casts some doubt on his suitability as education minister.
In the government's defence, though, I am not sure all the media coverage of the budget has been that fair. For instance, much has been made of the $3.7 billion in cuts to foreign aid over the next three years, including a 70% cut to aid to Africa. But it isn't true the government is unwilling to spend overseas, as the $237 million the budget forks out for a brand new embassy in the US shows.
We couldn't really have spent in a country like Nepal, where the budget has just cut about $7 million in annual aid, could we? It would be plain insensitive to go about building a giant new embassy in Kathmandu after the two huge earthquakes destroyed tens of thousands of homes.
The Americans, on the other hand, already have plenty of really large and lavish buildings in their country, so are unlikely to think we are showing off, or even really notice. It's all about not offending other countries, which has been a major priority of the Abbot government from day one.
Also, those who think the government is going too soft on the rich obviously missed planned new laws targetting tax evasion by multinationals, and you can tell just how serious the government is on following though on this by the fact it sacked 4400 people at the Australian Tax Office and just provoked a strike over new proposals to worsen ATO working conditions.
Because if there is one thing that screams “we will target you over tax”, it is severely slashing staff and working conditions at the agency tasked with targetting hugely resourced multinational giants over tax.
When it comes to tax, this is a government you can trust. In fact, according to Abbott, it is pretty much the key difference to Labor, whom he accused, while defending his budget, of only ever wanting to raise taxes, insisting “they live on Planet Tax!”
And that is why in Abbott's budget, there are absolutely no new taxes. You know, aside from the new tax on digital downloads, known as the “Netflix tax”, which is also an extension of the GST first introduced by a Coalition government of which Tony Abbott was a member.
But would Labor give small businesses the sort of tax relief this budget offers them, with up to $20,000 in new spending being entirely tax deductible? Well yes, given the measure was actually introduced under the last Labor government and the only reason the Coalition can announce it as a “new” measure was that it cut it in last year's budget.
In the face of a tanking economy with a mining slowdown and rising unemployment, it seems that recycled measures stolen from Labor and patronising exhortations to just “have a go” actually appear to be it for dealing with a worsening economic slowdown and rising unemployment.
Still, it's not all bad news. Amid a severe housing crisis in Sydney, for instance, we get the news that the city's richest postcode is also enjoying the fastest income growth, proving that some are doing fine under Abbott.
And you know what they say – a rising tide lifts all boats. Unless, of course, you don't actually own a boat, in which case, you'll probably just drown.
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