The pope knows
There was this pope, see — pope someone or other — an old codger who liked sticking his nose in everyone else's business.
A busybody bishop?
No, no. He was a pope, which is higher than a bishop. I mean, popes are like that with God. Your everyday bishop is one of a set, but a pope's on his ownsome. He's the supremo. The big boss. The godfather. "He who must be obeyed." El papa — the pope.
He's management.
Let me put it this way: the pope is God's foreman on earth whose job it is to maintain production and oversee quality control of all the world's Catholics.
So it's an executive position?
Definitely. The pope runs the front office. He has final word over hire or fire. Got it?
Phew! Them popes must be pretty darn sure of themselves.
They can afford to be. A pope is infallible. When he's working, dressed up in special duds and with a cereal box on his head, a pope can't make a mistake.
What, never?
When he's on the job, no.
How about that!
So your average pope's no fool. He knows what he knows, and when he says this and this is so, you betta believe it, because he's the pope. And the pope knows. Follow me?
I'm right behind you.
Well, the pope was over in Cuba, glad-handing all the commies over there, when the commandante of the show, Fidel Castro, tags the pope as one of them, a socialist.
Would you believe it, calling the pope, of all people, a commie! Castro tells the pontiff: "Another country will not be found better disposed to understand your felicitous idea — as we understand it and so similar to what we preach — that the equitable distribution of wealth and solidarity among men and peoples should be globalised."
I don't believe it!
Put that in your pipe and smoke it. One visit to Cuba and the pope gets signed up for the world revolution.
What did he say?
Say? What could he say? It was his "felicitous idea".
So it's true then?
You betta believe it — the pope's always right.
By Dave Riley