Dangerous dating
Nearly one-third of 12 to 20 year olds participating in a 1999 federal government survey reported experiencing some form of physical violence during dating relationships. Almost half of those aged 19 to 20 reported violence.
The survey of 5000 young people, conducted as part of the Partnership Against Domestic Violence program, revealed that one in seven young women had been raped, sexually assaulted or threatened with violence by boyfriends in an attempt to get them to have sex against their will. Twelve per cent of the young men surveyed thought that it was all right to use violence to force someone to have sex with them if they had been "led on".
While the survey revealed that most young people had a reasonably good understanding of what constitutes domestic violence, 4% still felt that hitting a partner regularly was normal. This figure rose to 8% if the violence was occasional.
The results are not surprising considering how prevalent domestic violence remains in society. A 1995 survey by the Office of the Status of Women revealed that 93% of Australian adults understood that domestic violence was a criminal offence, up from 79% in 1987 — yet this same study also revealed that 8% felt that force is justifiable when a man is "provoked" by his wife in seven circumstances: nagging; refusing to obey him; having sex with another man; refusing to have sex with him; wasting money; not keeping the house clean; and not having a meal ready on time. The study also found that one in five Australians thought that a woman might mean yes when she says no to sex.
According to the Queensland Domestic Violence Resource Centre, boys who witness violence perpetrated against their mothers are more likely to abuse their female partners as adults.
The Australian Bureau of Statistics in 1996 assessed that 23% of women who have been married or in a de facto relationship have experienced violence by a partner during the relationship. Almost half of these women said that children had witnessed the violence.
Movies, song lyrics (including the poetically titled "Smack My Bitch Up" by popular band Prodigy) and, now, internet sites help "normalise" date rape — "Yes, it's not legal, but everybody does it", is the message still reinforced in the minds of young men and women.
The most infamous date rape site, forced to relocate and temporarily shut down following an outcry by feminists internationally, provided date rape drug recipes, gave detailed "how to" instructions and included pictures of a gagged, naked woman and a line of Asian women gagged, with the following text: "This is Absolutely Necessary! Don't let your wench talk back like these did. Slap her around, gag her and do what you feel necessary to keep her snatch in good order. These women's boyfriends were fed up with their bullshit (as most men are). Don't take their crap, keep your eyes on the purchase section. You can get your own DateRape.Org gear soon. (DateRape embroidered gags, engraved pill holders, Easy-tear© shirts, pants, panties, and bras; and other items."
The site "vows to bring you the latest and greatest in date raping techniques", offering "DateRape in a Box" kits for $49.99 which include: "How-to Date Rape Properly Manual", "Shut-the-Hell-Up-Bitch Duct Tape" and a "Medical Prescription Guide" to check the side effects of certain drugs.
Last year, the federal government allocated $25 million (hardly a huge budget allocation) to fight domestic violence, yet it continues to cut funding to community and women's legal centres, legal aid, women's services, including refuges, and most measures to deal with violence against women.
The government argues in favour of preventing domestic violence from occurring, yet ideologically and in its policy decisions it is reinforcing the image of women's "natural" role being home-maker and child-rearer, with the corresponding lower status usually afforded to these roles.
Increasingly unaffordable child-care is pivotal in this campaign. Women, increasingly financially dependent on men, now have fewer options for escaping domestic violence.
This is the reality that young people witness and experience every day and until much of this changes, a token government program like Partnership Against Domestic Violence will have nothing more than cosmetic value.
BY MARGARET ALLUM